Chicken or Beef? Musings from the MOB


(Mother of the Bride)

By: Ginger Labat

   I loved my daughter’s wedding. All of it. It was everything the bride and groom wanted. There was no wedding drama, no bridezilla episodes, and no meltdowns. I can’t think of a single negative. 

Except! Weddings are hard. They’re hard for the obvious reasons; the work, the emotions, and the pocketbook. But they're hard for other reasons, as well:

  • The guest list has to end somewhere. 
  • It’s impossible to spend as much time as you’d like with family and friends.
  • The guest list has to end somewhere. 
  • You’ll realize some things you wish you’d done, after the fact. 
  • The guest list has to end somewhere. 
  • The people who offer to help are priceless. Meaning, I literally could never repay their worth.
  • The guest list has to end somewhere. 

I learned some things as a first-time MOB. Our friends and family offered these graces to us, and it was not lost on me for future reference:

  • If I’m not invited and we’re friends, we’re still friends. There’s a reason and you don’t have to explain yourself. I mean, maybe your daughter was at college during most of the wedding planning and you didn’t see the guest list until way later. Farfetched, but it could happen.
  • If I attend, I will not expect special or extra attention regardless of our relationship. You’re too busy and there are a lot of us!
  • I will RSVP whether accepting or declining. This will probably be the most difficult, especially when it comes to declining, but I understand that it helps when seating and money are tight. 
  • If you don’t respond to my text, voicemail, or social media post, I know that you probably had a million notifications, and it was too much. Or maybe it got lost in the shuffle. Or maybe (hopefully) you spent the day engaged and unplugged and the notifications mounted while you did your best to be present. 
  • I will choose chicken or beef.

All MOBs and MOGs know that weddings are more involved than this. But hopefully, if that role is somewhere in your future, this has offered some insight. If you don’t remember anything else, remember to choose chicken or beef…. unless you’re a vegetarian.


P.S. To future MOBs. My dress was 2 years old, and my shoes were from Payless. No one cared and I was comfortable. ;)





Ginger Labat is wife to Brian and mom to Brielle and Ashlyn.  She is First Lady and Adult Bible Teacher at Calvary UPC, served on the Illinois District Ladies Committee for 15 years, and speaks internationally for ladies’ conferences and events.  Her greatest passion is motivating and equipping people to live an abundant life through Christ.



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